:Topics of the past:
-Dan
-Taylor
Dan: Dan was doing super great back when I was taking care of him; however when I decided to move to Taylor's house that long time ago, my biological father didn't approve. He drove me back home to Midway, Ga with my mom instead and I had to try to take care of Dan the best I could in that environment.
Mind you, it wasn't a bad environment but I was being a bratty depressed person who happened to be angry with the world and its plans to destroy the things I wanted to do. I still took care of Dan and he grew up to be pretty big pretty fast. Everyone loved him, especially me.
But eventually, I grew tired of being boxed in a house with severe limits and being trapped in the country where you had to go to the next city for any actual groceries. I started having my friends take me out to get away, leaving Dan with my family.
They weren't too fond of that idea, and eventually, Dan was moved outside. Shortly afterward, I got kicked out of my house (but more into that later) and moved back in with my aunt. I couldn't bring Dan because my aunt was allergic.
Eventually, I got the news that Dan had died shortly after I moved. He was shot by neighbors. =/
Taylor: Taylor was my boyfriend that I talked about a lot in late 2009. He was still my boyfriend for a lot of 2010 but we split up. After we split, he tried everything in his power to hurt me. He called me frequently telling me he loved me and he hated me and blah blah blah. Eventually, he decided that a good way to get me back was to send a letter to my mom's facebook account telling her I did drugs and slept around with intents of getting hurt or something and that I told him all this.
Such foolish talk was so ridiculous that I was sure my mother would take my side when I told her it wasn't true. After all, I'd been against drugs my entire life due to my biological father's bad habits as I grew up.
I got kicked out because of it. Quinton let me stay with him for a day before my aunt picked me up and now I'm living with her.
Honestly, I'm so glad I'm not with him anymore. I remember distinctly Carly reading the signs of an abusive relationship and we discovered that, well, all the signs related to us. He was a bad boyfriend. One who insisted on a dominant/submissive relationship but with no actual idea of how to be a good dom. He thrived on tearing us down when it suited him best and tearing us away from friends and family just to satisfy his lonely needs. No more, I'm no longer a prisoner in his ridiculous world.
:Topics of the present:
-Me
-Family
-Friends
-Zane
Me: A lot has changed for me since not being with Taylor. I dated Quinton Bruner for a while but it really wasn't because I wanted to. It was more because he was forceful and didn't give a crap about how I felt or what I wanted. He'd push himself onto me and I'd be left feeling like it was my fault (partially because of the emotional crap I dealt with after Taylor and I split, and partially because I talked to Quinton and expected some kind of easy friendship despite his obsession with me).
So we dated for a while which apparently meant to him that anything he wanted to do, we were going to do. And if we happened to not do it, he'd be angry and make me anyway. Really, I was in no position to fight against him as I was emotional in turmoil and physically weaker than him. Not to say that I didn't try, but for the most part, any fighting was in vain.
So now I'm pregnant with his child and we are no longer together. He told me it was his plan to get me pregnant the entire time so that no one else would want me and he could be with me forever. His plans didn't quite go according to plan, obviously, because we aren't together and I couldn't care less if he was hit by a train.
I'm scheduled to give birth around May 12th of this year.
Family: I'm rather ok with my family. No big arguments and for the most part, they've remained supportive of me. I've started talking to my biological father again and accepting him as part of my life instead of constantly trying to push him out due to bad blood from the past. He's helped me the best he could, especially after I told him I was pregnant. I don't absolutely love the guy, but he's not so bad now.
I stopped giving my mom and dad money recently. For the most part, I couldn't get the money for them even if I tried. I have about $670 in my aunt's bank account that she's holding for me so I won't spend it on moolattes or blizzards. Saying 'no' because I couldn't actually give them money even if I wanted to felt horrible and wonderful at the same time. For so long, I felt like I was being used and taken advantage of. Promises to pay me back were never fulfilled and I wondered if he even remembered that such promises were made to begin with. And for once in my life, I can save money for myself and for when I really need it instead of giving it all away. It felt horrible at first though...because I feel that if I can help my family, I should. And I know I can't help them right now...but it didn't stop me from wanting to.
Friends: The number of friends I maintain contact with and hang out with are almost none. I'll admit that I'm ashamed of my pregnancy and that some of my friends have ditched me because of the fact that I'm pregnant. I'm still scared of rejection, so I stay indoors for the most part in hopes that when I do go out, no one I recognize will see and ridicule me. The only actual friends I have are Mitzy, Carlos, and Zane now. Oddly, I'm quite satisfied with that.
Zane: Onto the best thing that's ever happened to me. Zane Wilson and I met back up after a little while of not being around each other. Back when I was dating Taylor, I'd met Zane and noticed that he was actually a very entertaining, funny, and awesomely cool guy. He was one of Taylor's friends but he was also one of mine and I enjoyed his company and his conversations immensely.
Fast forward to present day and he's the love of my life. We got together on November 18th 2010 and it's only January 29 now. It feels like we've been together forever though.
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