Pretty Tephies :3

All done with my hair and make-up, although I don't think pink is a good lip color for me. That's okie dokie though. I still think I look amazing and although it's still raining, I already feel good. I'm not that awesome at curling hair and at the time I took the picture, the curls were already falling out. My hair's just too long and heavy for them, I think.

And I'm not that great with make-up either buuuuut hey, at least it makes me feel prettiful.



...I'm totally not narcissistic...I mean...it's not like I took a bajillion pictures...



...ok, maybe I did...shhhhhh.

Nightmares

I think it was the first night I went to sleep intentionally without Zane. Either that, or I went to bed knowing he wouldn't call me to be with me during the night. I made myself lay down at about 11 because I honestly thought I felt tired but I didn't actually get any sleeping done until 3am, maybe even 4. The only meal I had yesterday was mac-n-cheese and it was only a little bit because I just haven't been feeling all that hungry, so at about 2am, I couldn't feel comfortable at all because I was feeling a little starved.

So I had to get up and eat a sandwich just to get to bed, and even then it took me a while. I'd like to think it was just because I was hungry and hadn't eaten but I know that's only half the reason really. I have a hard time sleeping without hearing Zane's voice, and to know that he's probably still upset with me made it that much worse.

When I finally did get to sleep, I had nightmares again, which is typical for a night without him. The first nightmare had me waking up feeling like I was about to burst into tears and I almost reached for my phone to call Zane and apologize to him, begging him to hold me while I tried to sleep again. That's when I remembered that I'm supposed to be less needy and take care of myself, so instead, I settled for checking the time, going to the bathroom, and then curling back up in bed and forcing myself to go back to sleep.

And so I slept, greeted by another nightmare that, once again, woke me up. This time, I woke up to the sound of rain, and although I felt like crying again, I didn't. Maybe it was because I was slightly startled by how hard it was raining outside or maybe it was because of the loud dump truck roaming down the street.

I checked my phone and told myself it was for the time, but really, it was to see if I had maybe missed a text from Zane. I hadn't. He hadn't contacted me at all. As much as I had already expected that...there's still a part of me that was severely surprised and even hurt.

It's 9:30am now and I don't think I have the energy to make myself sleep anymore. I've already dedicated the morning to curling my hair and maybe wearing some make-up to make myself feel pretty and forcing the day to go right.