I was on Reddit today and someone mentioned the "other" tab in your messages folder. I'd never noticed it before so I immediately checked on said tab to view the messages I'd been getting from people who weren't my friends. I'd been warned beforehand that a lot of it would probably be spam and that was true. On the bottom was a message from someone I recognized and I quirked an eyebrow trying to jog my memory as to what could have been said.
The message was from Taylor, my exboyfriend. I opened the message in curiosity expecting nothing but hateful words and belittling. The message was sent a couple of years ago and it was during a time when I had tried to refriend him. He was angry about getting banned from an rp site I owned and I couldn't help but to chuckle. Once again, something blamed on me that had nothing to do with me. In his message, he added a part mentioning that I should not contact him or anything of that sort. That we would never be friends and so on.
This doesn't bother me. Taylor was never really good to me except for before we dated and when we were nothing more than friends. I almost wish it stayed that way. Just friends since the beginning. He wasn't a bad friend to me, by any means. He had a sense of humor I appreciated and stood up for the people he held dear to him. Afraid of no consequence and a knack for words I could only dream to have. I remember that I used to admire him.
Now that I'm with Zane, I hardly even remember any of the bad things Taylor used to do to me. The only memories of it are held within diary books which have gathered dust from inactivity. Zane is so good to me and so perfect that all of the scars and baggage I used to carry have disappeared completely. I'm a better person for it and I have no one else to thank but him. Now, in my renewed state, I almost feel bad that Taylor and I couldn't have remained courteous to each other. I wouldn't mind posting with him again or simply talking about how life is treating us. Like I mentioned earlier, he was a pretty decent friend. If only he would have stayed that way.
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Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Mayu's Birth: Before It Was Over
(shhhh, I know I've been gone forever. Shutup D: )
The operating room was well-lit and seven or so doctors waited for me as I was helped onto another bed. The main doctor, male and annoying optimistic, told me he would be giving me a spinal since the epidural failed to soothe me completely. I almost rolled my eyes at him as he tried to convince me that this medicine would work wonders with guarantee. Nonetheless, I was willing to try anything considering scalpels were about to find their way into my meaty abdomen. Feeling any of it would have probably caused me to go insane.
The spinal tap didn't hurt, per se, but it definitely felt weird. Almost immediately,the feeling in my legs disappeared and numbness started inching its way throughout my body. Having had little to no sleep for the past three days, I found myself passing out for the majority of the surgery.
I woke up for a few minutes here and there, telling the doctor that he was so kind and that I felt so good because of the medicine before passing out again. At one point, they were talking about education and I butted in with silly ramblings that only a drugged patient would think made sense.
Who knows how long this went on for? Time, space, people, places, everything was just a blur as they worked on me in my daze. Eventually, however, Mayu was shown to me and she peeked out of one eye to gaze at her mother. As goofy as I was, I smiled and waved saying "Hi little baby" before passing out again.
The only thing I could think of was "Huh...she's not covered in tons of blood like I see in some tv shows..."
I woke back up to them stitching me back together. I felt the little tugs here and there but I felt so good that I couldn't complain. Afterward, the doctor asked me how the spinal tap had worked for me and I went on and on about how thankful I was to have it.
An hour later, I was in a hospital bed, unable to move my legs at all, greeted by my family, Mitzy's mother, and Carlos' mother. I was so happy to see them no matter how horrible I looked after my battle. A few hours later and they left the hospital promising to visit me in the morning when visitors were allowed again.
The operating room was well-lit and seven or so doctors waited for me as I was helped onto another bed. The main doctor, male and annoying optimistic, told me he would be giving me a spinal since the epidural failed to soothe me completely. I almost rolled my eyes at him as he tried to convince me that this medicine would work wonders with guarantee. Nonetheless, I was willing to try anything considering scalpels were about to find their way into my meaty abdomen. Feeling any of it would have probably caused me to go insane.
The spinal tap didn't hurt, per se, but it definitely felt weird. Almost immediately,the feeling in my legs disappeared and numbness started inching its way throughout my body. Having had little to no sleep for the past three days, I found myself passing out for the majority of the surgery.
I woke up for a few minutes here and there, telling the doctor that he was so kind and that I felt so good because of the medicine before passing out again. At one point, they were talking about education and I butted in with silly ramblings that only a drugged patient would think made sense.
Who knows how long this went on for? Time, space, people, places, everything was just a blur as they worked on me in my daze. Eventually, however, Mayu was shown to me and she peeked out of one eye to gaze at her mother. As goofy as I was, I smiled and waved saying "Hi little baby" before passing out again.
The only thing I could think of was "Huh...she's not covered in tons of blood like I see in some tv shows..."
I woke back up to them stitching me back together. I felt the little tugs here and there but I felt so good that I couldn't complain. Afterward, the doctor asked me how the spinal tap had worked for me and I went on and on about how thankful I was to have it.
An hour later, I was in a hospital bed, unable to move my legs at all, greeted by my family, Mitzy's mother, and Carlos' mother. I was so happy to see them no matter how horrible I looked after my battle. A few hours later and they left the hospital promising to visit me in the morning when visitors were allowed again.
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