Just Get Used To It

Another bad day for Zane. Of course, he's not telling me what's going on so I have no clue what's happening. I guess that's just something I'll have to get used to because no matter how much I ask, he's not going to tell me and no matter how much I'll try to help, it's not going to do him any good. I'm just going to have to get used to being pushed away whenever he's having a bad day.

Honestly, I'm so stressed out and frustrated and down myself lately but I hardly have time to think about it because I'm too busy being worried about what's going on with him or trying to feel better about being shoved away. All the pain I've been feeling, all the stresses and frustrations that have been tearing my mind apart, and everything I feel insecure about in my future all just sits on the back burner while I try to figure out how to help him or hoping he'll feel better.

I guess I'm better off that way; It's more beneficial for me to ignore everything that's burdening me to make sure that he's ok. I don't really want to sit here and think about everything I know I need to think about. There's just too much stuff on me and I'd rather just ignore it. It gets harder and harder to just push it off everyday because I feel like, slowly, it's building up until eventually, it'll overwhelm me. Until then, I'll just worry about Zane and hope that his days get better and that he'll be happy.

I don't understand everything in the entire universe or every situation that could pop up, but I do understand that I just want him to be happy and for things to go the way he plans them to.