"I'm at peace with it..."

So my ex-boyfriend calls me today to ask how I'm doing and blah de blah. He's the guy who got me pregnant against my wishes, by the way. So anyway, he calls and we talk for a bit about random things and things I could really care less about.

Eventually, our conversation morphs into how bad of a boyfriend he was and how he shouldn't have forced me to do things I didn't want to do. He admitted he was horrible and stupid and selfish and inconsiderate as well as pushy...and then he said the stupidest thing that people like him could ever say....

"I'm at peace with everything I did though."

Really? Reeaaally? YOU'RE at peace with everything YOU did? Well, I'm so glad that you're at peace considering you weren't the one who suffered through anything. I'm glad you're at peace despite causing the whole situation. Here's why hearing that from people like him gets on my nerves and makes my blood boil.

So let's say I cut off your arm. You're pissed, naturally, and you're still upset about it although you're trying to move on. I come up to you and start talking about the day I did it and then I just go "I'm at peace with what I did though so it's cool". At that point, you're probably looking at me like "Bitch, gtfo."

The problem with people who cause damage to other people saying this is...you did something horrible that effected other people's lives. You changed the way they lived or thought or did things or felt and you were a horrible person to them. THEY suffered because of your actions and if you truly felt sorry, you would never be at peace with what you did. Being at peace with what you did is like saying "I forgive myself for being a dick to you" or "I don't feel like what I did was bad anymore."

Even to a victim who got over it, hearing those words from the person who hurt them is the shittiest thing ever. The person who should be capable of being at peace at all with what happened should be the victim. NOT the person who was a selfish mean jerk.

If I cut off your arm, yeah I would feel bad about it. We might move on like it never happened and you might actually forgive me...but when I think back to it, I'm not going to be like "I'm at peace with what I did" because the fact remains that I did something horrible to you that hurt you. I should never feel good about that. I should always be like "Man...I really shouldn't have done that. I was such a bitch back then." You can say "I'm a different person now" but don't EVER EVER fix your stupid mouth to say that you're at peace with something you did wrong to someone. ESPECIALLY if they're still paying for YOUR actions.

My biological father said that once to me about the things that happened when I was younger. He said "I'm at peace with it now," and it fucked me up inside to think that he didn't even feel bad when I was there STILL hurting inside from things that happened when I was barely out of my single digits.

Even I've done things to people when I was younger that I regret, like to my siblings and sometimes to the friends I had. They were horrible things that I shouldn't have ever done and when I look back at it now, I don't think "I'm at peace with it now. It happened so long ago." No. I think "=/ I was SUCH a bitch. I'm so glad I'm not like that anymore." People who feel fine with what they did to others even though they KNOW it was so horribly wrong make me sick to my stomach. Just THINKING about me being at peace with doing wrong to people makes me feel sick.

Don't you EVER say that. You don't deserve the right to feel at peace with what you did. What you did will NEVER disappear and the MOST you can do is say you're sorry and try to move on and become the type of person who will never do it again. But don't you DARE say you're at peace with it. Don't. You. Dare.