I've been having problems with my body lately. It's hard to get comfortable because my stomach hurts a little. Hurts in an achy sort of way. It makes it hard for me to get comfortable and stay comfortable. On top of that, I've been feeling weak and dizzy for reasons I'm not sure of. It doesn't matter how much sugar I intake, the weakness and dizziness remains.
For now, I'll just deal with it, but I hope everything's ok with me.
In other news, I was reading my brother's facebook and I think he's smoking Black and Milds again. On top of that, I think he's also doing Marijuana. I don't know how he could want to do all of that considering how we grew up with my biological father smoking all the time and selling our things for drugs. It makes me sad but I have to realize that he's a grown man now and I can't tell him what he can and can't do.
...it's just that...all my life, I've been protecting him from things and from people. I remember being at Ron's girlfriend's house when we were little and they were smoking in the house. The smoke filled up the entire place and Mylette would start to cough and feel sick. I would take them into one of the back rooms and shut the door to help protect them from the secondhand smoke and I'd stuff the bottom of the door with a towel. We'd stay like that for a few hours until I'd check and make sure that most of the smoke was gone.
I'm just worried about them, is all. I don't want them to live a life where they constantly ruin their bodies or run the risk of ending up in jail for illegal activities.
Marcus told me once that he stopped smoking for good...but it seems that it was only temporary. He said once that he smoked because his nerves would go bad and he'd feel anxious. I don't want him to think that drugs is the way to go whenever you're feeling antsy.
I'm a big sister, after all...isn't it my job to worry about them and try to put them on the right path?
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